“I do”

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not boastful or arrogant or rude. You guessed it, wedding season has begun! One of the joys of ministry is marking the significant moments in life with the community. No matter the circumstance, while working with a couple to plan this special day, I marvel at the faith it takes to pledge to spend the rest of their lives together. I realize they have no idea what the future holds, and yet they boldly proclaim to be in it together. At some point in the planning we talk about readings. Often, couples say “Just keep it short.” Other times they say “I could us a little bit of patient love.” At some point, we figure out what each will promise, when they in turn respond, “I do.”
 
Finding the right reading for a wedding is a challenge. The scriptures were not necessarily written with 21st century North American couples in mind. A quick study of the letter of Paul to the church in Corinth, reveals that Paul was not writing about the marital love. Rather he was offering helpful advice to a community that seemed to need it, based on his interpretation of the love of Jesus. To learn to be more patient and kind and not so boastful or arrogant or rude would be good advice to any community, especially in light of our human struggles and failings.
 
I remember the day that I looked my partner in the eye as we listened to those words, preparing to make the vows that we would try to live into. Incredibly, forty years of marriage have passed since that day. Those years were filled with joy and struggle, some long days and short nights. In the balance of time, we remember days when each of us had to work hard to overcome difficult circumstances, and times when we put our own needs aside as we watched the other achieve their goals. Early in married life, a wise woman suggested that I would look back on life and see how I had been part of a miracle in the making.
 
Committing to a life partner is like living in a micro community. The struggles evident in family life are not so different than the struggles in community life. When words of commitment to live for one another are followed by actions that reflect it, both couples and communities thrive.  
We may have moved beyond life in first century Corinth, but our need for love and mutual support has not changed. Rooted in our family, expressed in our community of faith, reinforced by the love demonstrated by Jesus of Nazareth, we are capable of being the kind of people envisioned by Paul as he writes this letter. In his final act, Jesus reminds us that no matter the regrets from our past, times we’ve indeed fallen short, we are always able to start again. Jesus demonstrates the incredible ability to forgive, offered as the flip side of unconditional love. A faith for today would do well to incorporate and live into these words.
 
Rev. Donna Tourneur works among the people of Trinity United Church, New Glasgow.